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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
cream-cheese-and-bagels
ryedragon: “ inritum: “ reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :) ” EDIT: DO NOT ASK ME IF THIS WORKED. I...
inritum

reblog and make a wish!


this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

ryedragon

EDIT: DO NOT ASK ME IF THIS WORKED. I ignore those messages from now on. Please go look at my FAQ. Thank you.

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

Source: inritum

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400brains
angelpassing

is being into coffee an older sibling thing bc everyone i know who loves coffee is the oldest child

angelpassing

like every oldest child ik loves coffee, the middle child hates it/prefers tea, and the youngest will drink it but only if its super sweet n has a ton of milk

angelpassing

rb w/ if ur oldest, middle, or youngest child and how u feel about coffee

itswormies-reblogs

Oldest child- cannot stand coffee
the only drink i like that has coffee in it is a mocha lmao

Source: angelpassing
one-time-i-dreamt
one-time-i-dreamt

I was sitting in the backseat of a car. It looked as if we were driving into a bright, purple light. The two people in the front were silhouetted by the light so I couldn’t see their faces. They were talking but I couldn’t hear their words, then suddenly the driver said to the passenger beside them,
“Americans talk about such silly things,”
and then the passenger responded in such a calm tone,
“Let’s talk of the tomorrow.”
The purple light glowed to a bright white and I woke up really confused.

kraetys

You were visited by aliens who just wanted to talk, then your memory was erased

itswormies-reblogs

400brains

legendsgates asked:

One especially talented student melted down nails and forged them into crucifix-shaped nipple piercings. If anyone asks her, she recommends going on tumblr or reading vampire porn, something more productive than hassling her.

elsewhereuniversity answered:

It’s very Victorian of her.

not-to-be-a-brit-but-tea

this cleansed me spiritually

kraetys

Unless those nails were grade A stainless steel (unlikely) I would not reccomend wearing those nipple piercings for fear of tetanus

not-to-be-a-brit-but-tea

weak

kraetys

We’ll see who’s weak when they go into septic shock

not-to-be-a-brit-but-tea

if you can’t handle septic shock then ur

WEAK

casuallyfantastic2001

Im strong enough i can do it

not-to-be-a-brit-but-tea

:) good

Source: elsewhereuniversity
madain-sari

THERE IS NOT ENOUGH MILES MORALES HEADCANON CONTENT DAMMIT

madain-sari

  • So uh… the Davis-Morales lives in Brooklyn, yeah?
  • Guess who else lives in Brooklyn?
  • That’s right, the 99th Precinct. The precinct number 99,  the 99th precinct. (yes Brooklyn 99) 
  • So imagine a fairly dull afternoon, Miles is leisurely chasing a pickpocket down an alley and webbing him up WHEN SUDDENLY, a familiar looking police officer with a leather jacket bump into him in the same alley, FANBOYING
  • “Oh my God, oh my God! Are you the new Spiderman?!” “Web me !!”
  • Miles: Uhhhhhhhhh
  • Needless to say Miles eventually lands in the office of the 99th Precinct
  • Captain Holt immediately figures out that this new Spiderman is, in fact, Jefferson’s son
  • Miles is scared of Holt at first but he eventually warms up to Holt 
  • He’s a little weirded out by Jake and Charles fanboying over him but they’re nice enough
  • Amy teaches him about First Aid and How to Rescue People and whatnot, he is forever grateful.
  • He likes Gina because she’s got the same mischievous vibe as Uncle Aaron but Jesus Gina, stop teaching him illegal stuff (he does, however pick up on the lock picking tick with the hairpins)
  • He has a mini crush on Rosa but mostly she mentors him on how to be a badass but most of her advice is useless (”Wear leather jackets everyday.” “But I –” “LEATHER JACKET!”
  • Terry and Holt mentors him and teaches him about deduction and how to be safe.
  • The trouble only starts when Holt accidentally mentioned to Jefferson during an office function that Miles sometimes drops by the 99th Precinct from time to time.
  • Jefferson is Baffled? Miles? Interested in Policework?? This has never happened??
  • Also, why didn’t Miles ever come by his precinct? Is it because he’s lame? HE’S NOT LAME DAMMIT. 
  • (he’s also secretly insecure that Aaron and Rio gets along with his son better, and now, Captain Holt?? What is he doing???)
  • “MILES, SON, WHY DON’T YOU EVER VISIT YOUR OLD MAN’S PRECINCT?”
  • Holt : I panicked. I’m sorry.
  • Miles: : I trusted you, Sir. 
  • Anyway imagine ALL THE POSSIBILITIES
gen-zee

gaygenzkid asked:

“My math teacher is a dementor. She sucks out the happiness out of everyone”

just-high-school-things answered:

aren’t most math teachers though? maybe it’s a job requirement

gen-zee

i mean mine has no emotion and always says we’re the dead class and likes the office and is a cool millennial he’s one of my fave teachers this year

MILLENIAL TEACHER STORY TIME I WANNA HEAR YOURS

itswormies-reblogs

Not me

My maths teacher has cookies for us. And a little corner with tea and coffee. As well as pillows to let us sleep, just incase we’re dead tired. He sometimes tells us stories from random points of his life. Its great.

Source: just-high-school-things
one-time-i-dreamt
one-time-i-dreamt

I woke up in the middle of the night to find a snack, but the only snack I could find was myself… I had turned into a cheeto.

one-time-i-dreamt

image

This could be read two ways, as a really smooth line or as something said by a cannibal.

therealdrakos

I present third option, a smooth line by a smooth cannibal

one-time-i-dreamt

You’ve been hit by, you’ve been struck by a smooth cannibal.

itswormies-reblogs

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